The EU has launched a new incentive program to help stabilize the situation in the Euro Zone, and quell any doubts in the financial markets concerning the future of the European currency.
The payments industry's interchange fees, previously under the scrutiny of the EU Commission, and under regulation, is now hailed as a savior and driving force for continued European prosperity.
A new affinity card program that donates 0.2% of card turnover to the country of the cardholder's choice will help reduce national account deficits in the so-called PIGS countries and stabilize the European economy. Eligible countries are Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain.
"The European citizens stand united. Consumers can help save their favorite vacation destinations simply by linking their card to the "Save the PIGS" program" which will be mandatory following an upcoming EU decree, according to an unspecified source.
Critics of the new program are concerned that the relative contributions of small countries with high card use, such as the Nordics, will lead to unfair subsidizing, and that certain key countries with low card use per capita, such as Germany, are not footing their part of the bill.
Others lament the low donation rates, a direct consequence of cross-border interchange regulations. Some analysts speculate this could be a rebound for interchange rates, as well as banks' reputations among EU citizens.
The new affinity program also comes with benefits such as "accounting services" provided by global investment banks, unique "debt protection" services, and an extended protection against April Fool's jokes - in case you fell for this one.
